😡ANGER DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A PART OF THIS.😡
I tell this to myself when I am having to enforce a consequence. When I do my job as the mom and set CLEAR rules/expectations and CLEAR consequences then being mad doesn’t have to be a part of it, AT ALL.
We make the mistake of getting mad. When we get mad and raise our voice to our kids their brains change, in a multitude of ways including increasing the activity of the amygdala (the emotional brain), increasing stress hormones in the blood stream, increasing muscular tension and more. They go into defense mode and into fight or flight.
I think anger can be useful, but on a day to day basis directed at our kids, not useful.
🗣“Put your socks away.” You say.
Hours later… and they still haven’t put their socks away.
Now it’s, “😡🗣I TOLD YOU TO PUT YOUR SOCKS AWAY.” Then they do it. Then YOU feel guilty😕 for how YOU handled it.
There are other options.
1. Take the 🧦socks (without saying a word) and have them earn them back.
2. You put them where they need to go.
3. Chances are they probably didn’t listen/hear the first time.
4. Ask them to put the socks away and have them repeat back to you what you asked them to do.
5. Ask again. Remind yourself anger doesn’t have to be part of this. Sometimes they forget, just like you do.
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way, but which one do you like and which one FEELS BEST to you??
When you stay calm your child turns inward and reflects on their own behavior instead of outward and blaming you or going into fight or flight mode. When I remember to stay calm I like ME when the situation is over and I don’t have GUILT. Layering emotions causes MORE PROBLEMS FOR YOU.
🌟Join me next Thursday, June 25 for a virtual ladies night in. I will teach you…
💥HOW TO enforce consequences WITHOUT getting mad.💥
Only $10! REPLY to this EMAIL the word (ladies night), and I’ll send you the zoom link. It’s going to be amazing.