Indulgent emotions are defined as an emotion that is comfortable to you. It’s something that you dive into more than you would like to, and it doesn’t give you a result that you want. You know when you’re indulging in an emotion because there’s no traction, growth, or movement. They are easier to think because our brain is naturally wired for the negative. A few indulgent emotions are: guilt, self pity, sad, overwhelm, indecision, worry, helpless, and more. If we want to change them then we have to first be aware that you are indulging. Just like when you are indulging on chocolate or other food you have to be aware that you are even doing it. Then you have to make the conscious decision to stop, replace the thought with a new one and then practice the new thought. A question I often ask myself is why am I choosing to think this? When I’m in the middle of it it just feels true. But, I am still aware that I am creating that for myself.
The past few days I have been indulging in insecurity, I don’t know, poor me, I’m not smart or good enough. I have been letting myself be bummed sad, and tired. I’d sit down and do a thought download and not quit know what the exact thoughts were that were causing it. I could pin point a few but I couldn’t change them because in the moment they were true. I was looking for the evidence that they were true and finding plenty of it. I let myself think. “what’s special about me what do I have to offer?” I was aware that those thoughts were not helping. I was playing the victim role and it’s so interesting that we think that thinking that in some way is helpful to us. I think we think that others will see us and be like oh poor them and send you an uplifting note or send you some cookies. When other people say nice words to us and about us then we allow ourselves to believe what they are saying is true, but others don’t always know that we need them to say anything or do they know what to say. If we told them what to say then we’d think they are just saying it because I told them to. So it’s important for us to do that for ourselves and to give ourselves that love and validation. Sometimes when I need that for myself I’ll look at myself in the mirror and say thank you. Today I woke up and I’m like that is enough of feeling sorry for myself. For whatever reason I was done and ready to move on. The reason is that I changed my thought. When I was thinking poor me I’ll never be good at this I’d feel sad, but when I think the thought I’d done feeling sorry for myself I will be good at this then I feel more confident.
All these tools take practice our brains have thought the old thoughts for how many years? So to change them will take time. It’s a process that we first look back and see oh I was thinking that again. Then we catch ourselves in the middle of it and notice what you are thinking, then you make it intentional decisions ahead of time and then after practicing all this the new thought becomes automatic.