I think people sometimes get coaching confused. They think just think a positive thought about a negative circumstance. You can try that, it may work temporarily. But, won’t last.
COACHING TEACHES YOU TO FEEL. Not to push aside, avoid, react to those feelings you feel. Ya, we also explore new thoughts.
I was so annoyed yesterday. I was just bothered by all the little things:
- the way my kids were eating.
- the Legos in the front room.
- the noise.
- the mess after dinner.
- the whining and teasing.
You get the idea. Sometimes when I feel frustration and annoyance I tend to want to control the things outside of me. Like clean the house and demand my kids be quiet. I am more snappy and impatient.
YESTERDAY I ALLOWED THE ANNOYANCE TO BE THERE. I didn’t try and think new thoughts. I thought I am going to feel annoyed right now. It’s 50/50.
- I felt it in my chest and throat.
- I took deep breathes.
- I tried to keep my mouth shut so I wouldn’t say anything I regret.
- I snuck away to a room and scrolled IG on my phone (buffering, but I chose to do that intentionally).
I knew how I was behaving, but in the moment I wasn’t able to change AND THAT’S OK! I AM HUMAN. I did remind myself that this isn’t the norm, thankfully.
The old me would have probably said a lot that I regret, eaten too much chocolate, and woken up feeling guilty and the need to apologize, and questioning WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?
I did tell my kids and husband I am annoyed right now, not because of you, but because of what I’m thinking. I took ownership.
What I’m saying is you don’t have to change anything sometimes JUST ALLOW THE FEELING TO BE THERE. It doesn’t feel great, but it will cycle through your body and go away if you ALLOW it to be there. If you don’t know how I will teach you.
>>CLICK HERE<< to schedule a 20 min. session where I will teach you HOW TO feel instead of react, resist, or avoid your feelings.
Have a great week,
PS save the date JUNE, 25 for a girls night in. I will teach you HOW TO enforce consequences without getting mad. ONLY $10. REPLY “girls night” to this email and I’ll send you the zoom link.
PPS I have an E-parenting workbook coming out soon. It’ll be so good and easy to apply so much of what I teach. Stay tuned.