Did you know that coaching is changing our family for the better. It has impacted my kids? They are learning that people don’t make them mad, sad, or anything else. They are learning that their brother does not have power over the way they feel. When I offer to them that they are giving their power away, they don’t like that. These tools are helping them in their lives and will stay with them forever.
As we were discussing Nephi, Laman and Lemuel in the Book of Mormon and how they all had very different experiences of the same circumstances. One of my sons said, “it’s their thoughts.”
Laman and Lemuel weren’t feeling mad because of the task of going to get the brass plates they were feeling mad because they were thinking, “this is too hard, our father is foolish.” Nephi was thinking, “I will go and do.” Which produced a very different feeling even though the circumstance was the same for all of them.
My kids will remind me that, “you are choosing to be annoyed, I didn’t make you annoyed.” They are right. THE WAY WE THINK MATTERS. Do you know what you are thinking? Do you know what you are thinking about your kids? Take ownership of what you are thinking and feeling. No one makes us anything. Awareness is the 1st step. So paying attention to your thoughts in the moments that you feel some negative emotion. Ask yourself, what am I thinking?
I have also changed my language and instead of saying, “I’m frustrated. I’ll say I’m choosing to be frustrated right now, it’s not because of you it’s what I’m thinking.” I still feel the frustration, but it’s important that they know it’s not them or anything they did or didn’t do.
Coaching has improved my life immensely and it is impacting my kids lives in a positive way. They are learning that feeling disappointed, worried, desire, mad, and any other emotion is just that, an emotion! I have taught them how to feel their emotions instead of act out on them. When one is worried I ask if they want to feel better? If they do I’ll go through the steps of processing emotion:
- What are you feeling?
- Where are you feeling it?
- Describe it in detail.
- How does this emotion make you want to act?
- Why are you feeling this way?
If all of this coaching was just to help my kids then it’s totally worth it. Would you like to help your kids learn to process their emotions, learn that others don’t make them sad, mad, happy or any other emotion? Join me so I can teach you the tools, and then you can teach them to your kids.
PS I have openings next week for free consults. Click HERE.